chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
