talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
