Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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