ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
