But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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