i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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