We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have fence marks all over my body
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
