At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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