can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
