I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
