i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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