Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
