I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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