Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
