My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
