Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
