Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
