Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
