summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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