she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
