Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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