butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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