he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
