Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are two peas in an std pod
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
