Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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