Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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