tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
