Having a random hookup so left but love u
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude i'm inner monologue high
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize