I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
