So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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