All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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