Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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