Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
