:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
pray to the hookup gods
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
