after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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