If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
