look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
