Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
