and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't turn off my feet"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
