he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
