And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize