is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
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