She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
