And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
