Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I understand Curling. That high.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
