I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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