i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
P.S. I can't hear my feet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
