if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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