If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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