There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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