u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
