He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
