His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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