I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
