This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
