I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
