I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Your penis caused this!
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