I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
