She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
