I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
