Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
