You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
