I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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