It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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