do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
