I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize