Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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